Twin Pants: Twin Peaks Speculation

Sweatpants Life

Anyone else watching Twin Peaks? I’m only aware of four people in my immediate life that are experiencing it currently. While the show seems to be popular enough from what I can tell, I’m sure the lack of exposed breasts every fifteen minutes is holding it back in the ratings. Statistics be damned, I’m loving it! Also, I’m a glad that the blabber mouthing Thrones fan aren’t on twitter the very next day with their gifs and spoilers. Not that Twin Peaks can really be spoiled. Gosh damn I love it!

I’ll admit there was a growing sense of frustration that could no longer be contained around episode six. Not much seemed to happen. It started with Wally Brando, I didn’t see a need to waste what felt like ten minutes on that dipshit. Sure, he was kind of funny and exactly the kind of kid Lucy and Andy would have raised, but we don’t have much time. Then there was Dougie and several other characters that I don’t give a flip about. I was having a hard time with meeting all these new characters when I was still concerned about what old characters were doing. We’ve only got eighteen episodes for sure. No one wants to be left hanging again. Not that we need to have everything explained to us.

I remember saying, “I don’t care if someone hacks this [streaming service] and deletes all the episodes. I wouldn’t stop someone from coming into our place and shooting our [streaming device].” Then I laughed like a crazy guy who’d been waiting for twenty five odd years* to find out what’s up with, not only Coop, but everyone else from Twin Peaks. Instead I’m learning about Wally, watching some guy sweep a floor, and Dougie.

I was broken as we tuned in for episode eight. I remember saying something about not caring anymore. There was probably an angsty “whatever,” in there as well. However, eight changed my perspective. Shit happened, then there was hopelessness as we flew through an explosion, then I became a believer.

My entire outlook changed. All I – and everyone else – had wanted to see was good ol’ Coop. We kind of got a dose of him in the first couple of episodes before he and Dougie switched spaces. Maybe that’s all we’re ever going to get! Yet, all anyone can talk about is Coop coming back. Somewhere around episode ten, I started to realize something. It’s crazy and needs a little explanation. I don’t know if I want Coop to come back.

Why not? Well, one of the Coops has to die. Which means there would only be one. I don’t want Good Coop (Gooper) to die, but Evil Cooper has done some shit. Not only a lot of bad things at a federal level, but many terrible things that have affected the people of Twin Peaks. One can’t stand before a judge and plead it was their doppelganger.

Right now, Gooper has his happy ending. A wife and kid, lots of money. Truly ignorance is bliss. Hold on, is all of that just as manufactured as Dougie was? Vegas is seen by many as a city of facades. Could this be another waiting room style place, a trap to keep Cooper in place? Diane doesn’t seem to be tracking quite right, is that a Dianeppleganger? Was the good in her used to construct Jane E.? Is Audrey still in a coma? Wait, did we already see the ending of Twin Peaks: The Return at the end of Fire Walk With Me? Did Coop take the doorway back into Red Room in 15?


Did anyone else pick up on how portentous and referential The Veils ‘Axoltol’ was? Axoltol being an amphibious fish salamander that can regenerate missing limbs. So something that really isn’t something. Also, the ghola growing tanks in Dune were called Axoltol tanks. Ghola’s were genetically grown people with some modification here and there. Possibly some hidden ones. In some cases, they were clones of very important people. This is probably what Lynch was actually interested in when it came to Dune, but he never got that far.

* I did watch a good portion of Twin Peaks during it’s original run. I skipped chunks of season two. Yet, I remember watching that final scene, turning to my parents and asking what the heck?

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