Another Sunburn: How Could It Even Happen?

I got another sunburn. This is the second one in two months. While the last one took place on a warm, sunny day, this one happened on on that was cloudy and cold. That’s right, it’s colder halfway through June then it was about a month ago. I’ve worn shorts and t-shirts on many occasions this year. I’ve perspired to radiant levels of glow. Yet this weekend, I had to hike up the jeans, button a flannel shirt and a zip up hoodie. Yeah right, climate change is a hoax. I’m dressed like it’s March, but it’s the middle of June. Seriously, a sunburn and a cloudy day go together like peanut butter and chocolate.

I was on a boat tour. As such, I thought it prudent to layer up. I didn’t want to be freezing fifteen minutes into the journey. No one wants to be cold on a two hour tour of Harrison Lake. We kept echo island just off of our portside* the entire voyage. We saw the horned owl shaped rock formation at Echo Bay and then continued on to Rainbow Falls before heading back.

Traveling at breakneck speeds of eight miles an hour can whip up the breeze. My, Made In The U.S.A. and Indonesia, cloth armor deflected all cold damage for the most part. I’d prepared properly as far as the clothing was concerned.

The return trip had the head wind, so it was a tad cooler. As such, I had to zip up my hoodie that crucial last quarter of an inch and use an old lady as a wind shield. Don’t worry about her, she was bundled up in a winter jacket. My guess is, this wasn’t her first boat trip rodeo. Regardless, it didn’t help and I was still just a bit chilly.

My hoodie stayed zipped up when I was back on shore. The flannel shirt remained buttoned for most of the car trip home. In other words, it wasn’t hot.

At no point did I feel like I was in danger of getting another sunburn. Which is something that I’ve been trained to deduce. Recognizing the warning signs and symptoms is practically an act of my subconscious. Typically, I don’t even have to think about it, I just get the notion that something is out of whack. Then it’s evasive maneuvers. Apply sunblock, run inside screaming, or at the very least, walk in the shade.

The sun appeared every now and again. It was like playing flash light tag with that dipshit in safety orange suit with tons of reflectors. It would be hours before I would realize what had happened. Only once did I feel the sunburn sting set in when I scratched my forehead. That evening, I realized that, once again, whatever travesty the fair skinned people of the world have committed against the sun, had been avenged several times folded it.

How big of a loser am I? How do I get another sunburn on a cloudy day? That’s rhetorical. How does anyone even go about getting a sunburn on a cloudy day. Don’t answer that either. I don’t need any Bill Nye The Science Guy crap. That is, unless you are the real Bill Nye. In that case, “Welcome!” and comment away. Tell the internet how silly I am, Bill. Be sure to mention this on twitter. Drive some traffic my way. You owe me Bill Nye consumed and shared your content when you were starting out. Sure it was the eighties, but I did my part. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go slather on the aloe.


*No I didn’t have to google this. A true boatsman knows what’s up. Wait, boatsman is a real word? I figured it was a layman’s made up word, but it isn’t. Hm.

2 Comment

  1. I, too, burn under the sun to the point I go out with a wide-brimmed hat even on a cloudy day. Love being outside, hate the sun (cause it hates me). And yeah, I’ve been accused of vampirism all my life, but the ones who tease just don’t burn from driving from one place to another. It’s a cruel cruel summer & I can’t wait for fall!

    1. Blake Standard says: Reply

      It’s a blessing and a curse! I’ve been wondering if I would trade in my sunburning ways for twinkling under the sun, like the Twilight vampires.

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