Bob’s Bazooka and Street Sweeping Service


 

Something exciting happened today! Alright, it’s probably sad that I describe it as exciting, but the nosey neighbor inside me has been satiated. I also got an idea for a business. Which is a fabulous opportunity for a real self-starter to get in on the ground level of an exciting new venture and also, anyone who has lots and lots of money. Read on!

There are neighborhood festivities today. An entire kilometer of street will be shut down. Which means all the side streets are sanctioned for event parking and preparation. As such, for the last two weeks, there has been signage informing people not to park on these streets today. Lo and behold, people didn’t listen.

I heard the street sweeper come by. Which was the first time I actually looked out the window. It was truly a must see TV moment, as the driver circumnavigated some purple car while maintaining the level of quality of street sweeping he is known to provide.

The vilest Hydeian part of me was rooting for a little fender bender. Something that would probably result in the street sweeper dragging the eggplant about four feet. Then I realized that’s a terrible thing! Sure, eggplant wizard would learn the hard way that one can’t park ye olde chariot wherever one wants, but it would really screw up the street sweeper’s day as well. C’mon! All the driver wants to do is sweep the streets and then go snag some funnel cakes and hang out with the fam’.

Moving On

The street sweeper left. Life returned to normal for a bit, but I knew the good times were coming. Justice on six wheels! That is because a tow truck has a dual-wheel rear axle. And during the commotion with the street sweeper, I spied two tow trucks heading off to haul away some offenders. Like shooting fish in a barrell!

It was just a matter of time. I carried on with twitter, blogs, and duolingo. Then, this post was born from the fires of a car alarm going off for five minutes straight. A period of time where people, on the brink of insanity, looked out their windows and went on about their business, because who cares about car alarms anyway? The pinot noir continued to bleat in terror as the man ran a chain through its undercarriage. Something tells me that Pinot, may have enjoyed it somewhat, but I can’t be certain. Then, Pinot was gone.

Ground Floor

I’ve realized so much time could have been saved. That both events could have been combined into one. As an opportunistic blogger and visionary, I’ve had an idea that just can’t be ignored. Bob’s Bazooka and Street Sweeping Service. An exciting, efficient and self-explanatory way to rid the streets of illegally parked cars and teach people the to obey the law. Plus, the city can fine the drivers for littering and then offenders have to go buy a new car. Car manufacturers love it! Best of all, no car alarms, just explosions!

I’m looking for some startup capital. Holla! keepyourpantson@sweatpantslife.com or just leave a comment below. Bob’s Bazooka and Street Sweeping Services, You’ll Be Blown and Swept Away!


Note: It’s critical that the actions be carried out in the order of the company name. All bazookaing must be completed before the street sweeping.

 

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