Time Change and The Election (Fall Back and Go Stuff Yo’self!)

Sweatpants Life

I ’d like to think that I speak for all of the Pacific Northwest* when I say, “Screw the time change!”

What a bunch seagull crap! As if it weren’t dark enough already! Now I get to work an hour after the sun rises and then get to look out the window as the light fades from existence by 3:30 p.m. The last part of that sentence is kind of dependent on whether or not it’s been raining all day. Spoiler alert, it has been raining all day! It’s always been raining all day! So, it’s extra, unholy, end of days, black as midnight on a moonless night, dark by 3:30 p.m. in the afternoon.

What are we, a bunch fucking time travelers? No, nothing that cool. We aren’t even “The Butterfly Effect time traveling cool.” We’re a bunch of chumps that screw with our clocks and deal with the issues. Which there seems to be plenty of.

According to internet data, for about a week after each of the space-time continuum anomalies, auto accidents spike and people are just constantly tired and hungry. Productivity takes a dip. Binge watching goes through the roof and so does pizza consumption. Why? Because no one cares!

Why do we do this? Beats the shit out of me! There are plenty of thoughts as to why we keep this antiquated practice going. One of them seems to be about saving money on electricity. First, why the hell would the electric company not want my money? Are they trying to sell excess electricity to the states for more money and counting it as a “loss” on their taxes? Second, I’ve been writing this since 4 a.m. with the lights on. That’s two and half hours earlier than normal. So jokes on you mother-stuffers!

Worse yet, the U.S. presidential election is tomorrow! Not only are the lazy and jaded people – who probably weren’t going to vote in the first place – going to be even more duck facey than usual, they will also have the extra excuse of having their internal clocks thrown off. Terrific! Finally,  a good portion of people will be disappointed Tuesday night. Hell, maybe we all will be! So, get over it! Pile on exhaustion, hunger, and constipation onto that disappointment and yell “Fall back and go stuff yo’self!”

Finally,  a good portion of people will be disappointed Tuesday night. Hell, maybe we all will be! So, get over it! Pile on exhaustion, hunger, and constipation onto that disappointment and yell “Fall back and go stuff yo’self!”

 
So, do you like the time change? Love when the sun ceases to exist? Let me know below!
 
*Pacific Southwest in Canada!

 


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