Gawker Gawked The Gawk

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 Gawker croaked in the last bit or so. It’s kind of hard to determine the exact moment of its death. Could have been the second the video clip of Hogan was posted. Possibly when they outed Peter Thiel. I guess it was most likely when the judge – who by the way has some record amount of overturned cases – ordered the immediate handover of Gawker and $140 million to Hulk Hogan. Yet, it is still thrashing somewhat and giving a few last what-fors.

 Hulk Hogan, I used to think you were cool. When I was a kid, your cartoon was my gateway drug to the WWF. I watched it every Saturday and thought it was great. So much so that I held it in the Pantheon of Saturday Morning Cartoons. Which included Dungeons & Dragons, Droids, The Gummi Bears and yes, The Wuzzles. I don’t remember what time the show was on, but I know that I didn’t miss it. That is because I would wake up early on Saturday and watch the U.S. Farm Report – yes, it was boring. Did you know that Saturday morning cartoons had an intro, more of a bumper really?

 Oh, how I have digressed. I don’t really want to talk about Hogan, The Hulkster. I know that he is a person, a real flesh and blood person. He has feelings and didn’t fully deserve what happened to him. It’s a pretty screwed up thing and having the internet laugh and leer at you is horrible. So much so that it’s up there on my list of terrible things like being burned alive and drowning by swirly.  

 However, all that laughing and leering happened four years ago. No one remembered it. No one cared. Except for a billionaire who cared a little too much about destroying Gawker. He used Hogan’s ordeal as the reason to do so. Basically out-moneyed them. Keeping them tangled up in court battles and finally suing for a ridiculously exorbitant amount.

 Over the years, I’ve let my membership to the Hulkamaniacs lapse, but that happened during the Hollywood Hogan years. When he was playing at being a villainous opposite day version of himself who had his feelings hurt.

 I had stopped watching wrestling by the time Hulk Hogan showed up again. I heard about it and have now watched the clips. It was good to have the good ole patriotic Hulkster back! I never thought that the Hollywood Hogan would ever rear his head again. How wrong I was and this time he wasn’t fictional.

 Hulk Hogan, this is now going to be your legacy. People are going to remember this. Maybe they won’t remember the specifics, but they will probably have a tainted besmirched feeling when they think of you. Hopefully, they don’t remember that you literally ruined a man’s life and what he built. Not to mention the many people he employed. All because they posted a video that showed your no-no’s while you banged your friend’s wife and he secretly recorded it. Once again, you didn’t necessarily deserve all that, but did anyone deserve having their lives destroyed? Seriously, who banged who’s wife?

 When Macho Man, Andre The Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Chyna, and [The Ultimate] Warrior passed away, everyone just remembered them. Their huge personalities, rivalries, and storylines were all any fan could think of. For days people walked around imitating them. It felt like we lost friends.

 Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I will feel the same way someday about you. In fact, maybe I feel that way right now. Yes, I think this frame of mind is preferable. I would rather think the Hulkster passed away years ago. Since then, I’ve remembered him fondly. All that is left is Terry Bollea, who despite all of Hogan’s Christian ways, coveted his neighbor’s wife, couldn’t turn the other cheek, and was filled with wrath and greed. Either way, I’ve quit taking the vitamins and saying the prayers and I wouldn’t stop you if you did too.


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