Tales From The Presidential Suite

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In my opinion, November can’t get here fast enough. The U.S. presidential campaign is out of control and anything but presidential. Both sides have gone absolutely nuts. Much of it is constant garbage. It’s like listening to ten year olds fight on the playground and vy for your affection at the same time. When this sort of thing happens in movies, it usually blows up in the ten year olds collective faces. However, for some reason it doesn’t seem to have the same effect on voters when it comes to the next president.

I find it highly irritating how both sides are basically rooting for their favorite sports team in a league comprised of two teams. Both have been around so long that there is an attitude of “My pappy voted for this team and my pappy’s pappy voted for this team.” No one is willing to even listen to what the other side is willing to bring to the table. The R or the D is simply read and the canned response is emitted.

Not that anyone really needs to listen. Because other than guns and religious matters, there isn’t much of a difference between these two parties. A majority of both have been bought out by lobbyists. Both have proliferated war and spying. Sure one is more likely to construct broad sweeping, ambiguously worded legislation while the other is more likely to strip it away. It’s like having one parent say, “Do whatever the fuck you want. Just go to church.” and the other parent say, “The last time we let you do whatever the fuck you wanted, you drew on the wall with a crayon. Now, we have confiscated all writing utensils from the house. Anyone caught with any sort of marking device will be sentenced to life in their bedroom without parole. And at least pretend you went to church!”

Of course these scenarios are undesirable by large majorities of the population. It has been proven time and time again that humans can’t, do whatever the fuck they want and not turn everything into a huge mess. At the same time, we are just one fecalpheliac away from realizing that everyone poops and that – in a pinch – poop makes a good writing utensil.

In some strategy room, a stoned eyed senator who realizes the severity of the situation will say, “My god, we will have to take away everyone’s butts.” Compliant nods will abound. Then the monumental and impossible task of confiscating butts will be unleashed. Of course, not one damn person in that meeting has any idea how to carry out this action. However, the lobbyist for the Butt Control Association, is a happy camper.

So what the hell can voters do? For starters, there are more than two teams and Bernie should have gone with one of those. Gary Johnson and Jill Stein seem like viable places to vote. They seem like reasonable human beings that can answer questions in a normal human way. With words. Not with redundancies and contradictions. Not with smirks as they feel like they successfully zinged the “only other” opponent.

Would it be great to have a woman president? Sure would! Would it be great to have “different” in office? Why not, the current system isn’t so hot. But not the two that are being offered as the only options. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Especially with two candidates who are changing the definition of presidential suite from “The big fancy room.” To “The room that is bloated, sweaty, has hidden cameras, burgeoning closets that are sealed, and the last resident quite possibly had a kill team order against them and they just checked out minutes before you walked in.”

 

 

2 Comment

  1. Sorry, there are major differences between the two parties. Just look at their Supreme Court picks and the consequences. Or think of this matter of wearing guns in public.

    1. I used to feel that way.

      The only differences I ever see are on guns and religious matters. Other than what they think woman can do with their bodies, where people can pray, where people can have guns, where people can shoot guns, where people can stow guns, what people of different religions can be let into the country, there isn’t a difference. Lobbyists and huge amounts of money steer both. Wars keep going, freedoms shrink, the environment keeps taking a back seat -although now it seems like it may be leaning forward and asking if we can at least turn the radio down. There is a difference between what they say, but not necessarily what they do.

      Regardless, thank you for reading and commenting.

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