I Am The By-Law

For the past week, someone has been parking a van illegally in the laneway behind our place. On Friday evening, they left a pile of junk from the renovations. I am talking large objects like laminate countertops, ceramic and stainless steel sinks, and even toilets. Also included, were paint cans and other painting supplies and just junk.

I figured they were going to pick it up so it wasn’t that big of a deal. The pile stayed throughout Saturday. In addition to the van some douchey luxury sedan would show up and park in the alley as well. I would like to add that there is plenty of street parking around our place. Still I let it go, I figured it would be over soon enough.

On Sunday I tried to egress said laneway, but this time the van was parked like a jerk. Which forced me to navigate an area between the van and a power pole not much larger than my car. My car isn’t that large so any larger vehicle would have a much more difficult time.

Once I was back inside, I gave the old by-law office a call and reported it. Almost immediately, my call was answered. I thought “Zowy! These folks are on the ball for a Sunday. We are going to bust these guys for sure!” The dispatcher asked me if they were loading the junk and I told them everything I have told you. Within thirty minutes after the call the douchey sedan was back. Twenty minutes after that the by-law officer showed up. The car was already gone. The pile had diminished and the guys were loading more of it into the van. Making me look like I was a crazy by-law office calling neighbor. Everything I had said was wrong. Oh, if only the by-law officer had been two minutes sooner.


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