You know that little box on to the side of the twitter and facebook feeds? That space where stuff that everyone is talking about and liking shows up. I swear that not a day goes by that a Kardashian, Sheen, or Palin isn’t inside that box.
When I began writing this, I believed that the Kardashians were trending again. To be more specific, I think it was a person associated with them. I did not add fuel to that fire and click that link to find out though. I am just going with my somehow extensive knowledge of celebrities and who they are dating.
I am not sure how I have accumulated such a vast wealth of knowledge. I don’t seek it out. I don’t read the TMZ or anything like that. Sometimes I get a glimpse of a magazine in the checkout line at the store, but that is it. Whatever little bits of info I gather get lodged in my brain.
Anyway, how the hell do the Kardashians trend? For the most part they aren’t all that fascinating. Yet, they are like male nipples at a beach; everywhere and completely useless. Maybe that is the trick, the old spend 90% of the budget on marketing the other 10% on content. Life, I’m doing it wrong.
Then there are the Palins who, whether it be out of their mouths or their vaginas, always seem to have something falling out of them. I believe that to be the crudest thing I have said on the blog, although there was this (NSFW) post. Recently, they seem to be showing up more and more. Which makes me worried that the queen is about to become the umpteenth Republican candidate.
Finally there is Charlie, Charles, Chuck, you were a dick in Young Guns and have been trying to repent for that stuffy character ever since. I mean you were great in that role, every group needs that leader guy. X-Men has Cyclops and the Lincoln County Regulators had Richard “Dick” Brewer. And boy if everyone involved with the script, directing and acting didn’t concentrate on the Dick aspect. When I come across a cinephile who doubts your skill as an actor I point them to that role. But look, you have done enough redeeming. Boromir only had to die once and you have been close like a zillion times. Stop trending damnit!
For that matter all of you stop trending! Give someone else a chance. Take the day off, go to the beach. Throw your phone in the ocean. Just take it easy. If a McDonald’s commercial doesn’t air for a day, do the consumers forget about McDonald’s? This is rhetorical, but just to be clear, “no they would not.”